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Post by Rafa on Jun 8, 2008 10:52:48 GMT -5
I came up with this when my cousin asked me to make a game and gave me a pretty vague story. She pretty much said "Make it about three girls looking for their father!"
I just can't make stories any more interesting for some reason. I can come up with ideas on some characters, places, a little bit of what the entire story is about, but I just can't do anything with the story when events happen.
It's hard to explain, but I just can't come up with too many good ideas.
Anyway, I'll put this up piece by piece. There's not too much to it.
For most of their life, they lived by themselves, supporting themselves in any way they could. These fraternal triplets grew up in the city of Monterey, California. For these last 17 years, they have been normal people. They went to school, they worked, they had fun with their friends, but it seemed that the three of them just weren't able to have a strong relationship with anyone else beyond being friends, and even then, it didn't feel like real friendship. It's as if an invisible barrier kept them from coming closer to anyone else.
They got enrolled into their school a year earlier than most usually do, so they graduated at the age of 17. The day before their graduation, they received an envelope that had no opening, address, stamp, or any type of writing. A piece of paper had to be taken out of it by tearing it open, since there was no other way to take it out. They thought this was strange, because they rarely get any letters from those other than the apartment superintendent and their school district.
The writer didn't seem used to writing this language or alphabet, since each letter looked slightly deformed. Despite that, it seemed like very good handwriting. The letter said:
When the girls were 14 years old, their father left them to fend for themselves. They never understood why he suddenly left, or where he went to. They believed that this letter was an invitation from their father to move back to where they came from and live with him. They believed their father sent that letter, so they started packing right after their graduation.
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Post by Twilight Prince on Jun 9, 2008 12:34:29 GMT -5
Sounds good.  I think it's interesting. |
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Post by Rafa on Jun 9, 2008 22:58:52 GMT -5
 Three girls arrive at the docks at the Fisherman's Wharf. It's before sunrise, so very little light could be seen thoughout. Despite that, some nearby restaurants were already opening for business, getting ready to serve clam chowder. "Don't you think it's weird that we got this letter right after we were done with school?" asked one girl. "It might have been planned," responded another. "Maybe," the third one said, "but I'm starting to wonder if this is some sort of trap." "Relax, Gloria," said the first girl, "Don't worry too much about it." Gloria hesitated, "If you say so..." The group waited a while until a small sailboat arrived at the dock they were resting at. It entered so silently among the waves, they didn't notice there was anything behind them until the boat's pilot spoke. "Ready?" He said. At that word, the three jumped and quickly turned around, startled by the sudden noise. |
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Post by Twilight Prince on Jun 10, 2008 10:18:14 GMT -5
Hmm, interesting... I'm eager to find out what happens next. |
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Post by Rafa on Jun 10, 2008 18:33:46 GMT -5
I'm glad you like it so far. This type of story will go into a different direction pretty soon... A bit sci-fi/fantasy-like.
I really wish I could come up with ideas that could make this entire thing a story, but I'm just not good at that.
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Post by Twilight Prince on Jun 11, 2008 13:51:52 GMT -5
I'm glad you like it so far. This type of story will go into a different direction pretty soon... A bit sci-fi/fantasy-like. I really wish I could come up with ideas that could make this entire thing a story, but I'm just not good at that. Oh, cool! I love Sci-Fi/Fantasy. You know, sometimes I can't think of any more ideas for a story, either. But I hope everything works out. I'm enjoying this story. |
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Post by Rafa on Jun 11, 2008 19:05:45 GMT -5
They saw the boat first, then they saw him. He seemed like he was dressed in clothing that not many people would call casual. It's definitely not something anyone around there would be used to seeing. "Y-yeah," said Dorothy. They got their few bags and boarded the boat. "Are you sure you're prepared for anything?" asked the pilot. "I'm sure." Dorothy said. With that said, they sailed off into the sea.  (The path of the boat for the next several days) Everyone on that boat tried starting a conversation, but the mood there just wasn't right for anyone to really say anything. For this entire time nobody spoke a word. It seemed as if the same barrier that kept them from being close to those they knew all their life was much stronger here. During this time at sea, the only thing that existed was them, the boat, and the waves. It seemed to be everything that existed in the world. None of them have experienced this before, not even the boat's pilot. They all seemed to love the feeling, and they wished that it would never end, but they knew it eventually had to end. Late at night, a distant sound woke everyone up The pilot put a slight smile on his face and said "We're close." Some time later, a small dot among the water could be seen in the distance. There was already some rain falling in the entire area. The rain seemed to get heavier the closer they got to there. About an hour passes, and they can see the island pretty well. It's not too large, but the most noticable thing is what looks like a village right on the shore and a forest further up the hill. It seemed like the island was sloped, and the only way to be able to dock was in this area. Another hour passes, and they land. The sailboat slowed down against the sand and part of it became buried under it as it started sailing into it. They got off the boat and looked at their surroundings. It seemed like a fenced off area. Everywhere they looked that was towards the island, it was completely fenced up except for an opening that went towards a small house. The rest of the surrounding area seemed to only be sand and shore. The sand seemed to be strong enough to hold anything up without shifting, but weak enough to push a thin object through, such as paper, and not having it fold. They walked towards the opening through the fence, and had to enter the house. It seemed like an ordinary house, but on the door was a large sign with small writing. It's as if every language in the world was inscribed into the door. |
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Post by Twilight Prince on Jun 12, 2008 15:45:00 GMT -5
Hmm...I wonder what's going to happen... I like it! I enjoy the descriptions, for one. Here, you get Karma! |
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Post by Calanon on Jun 22, 2008 18:42:33 GMT -5
It's like I can even hear the "Dun dun DUN DUNNNNNNN!!" ;D
cool story so far. keep it up! ^_^
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Post by Rafa on Jun 23, 2008 13:19:38 GMT -5
Dorothy opened the door, but the boat's pilot passed through first, holding a small piece of paper in his hand. The girls entered right after him. The room was small, had no windows, and had two doors. Dorothy rushed towards the other door and tried to open it, but it seemed to be stuck. "Not so fast, we can't pass through yet," the pilot said, "I need to get rid of my permission to leave the island." He went toward the first door and shut it tightly, then he tossed the piece of paper onto the ground. It seemed like it was written permission to be able to pass through the house, but who was enforcing it? The paper soon seemed to have been melting into the ground and through the floorboards that made up the floor of the small house. A hard locking sound could be heard through the first door while the second door seemed to have loosened up. The group, except the pilot, were confused at what was happening, but they didn't bother to ask questions. They all went out the door, and the last one out closed it. Looking back at the door, they only saw one sign:  The group kept walking towards the village, the rain now becoming much harder than before, and the boat's pilot left, but not before saying a few words. "I've done what I was sent here to do. We've arrived at Metan." "So this village is where we were invited to go? Metan?" Dorothy said. "No, you weren't sent here. Metan is the name of everything here. It is this village, this island, and this part of the world. I believe you'll understand what I mean much further on in your life." A moment passed without anyone saying a word, the only sounds that could be heard were the progressively harder rain and the distant thunder, which wasn't becoming so distant. "I trust that you're prepared, so I can go ahead and send you towards the forest. Take the path out of this village and cross it. Be extremely careful of anything that can hurt you, and rush as fast as you can out of this storm. Do not try to leave the island now from the entrance we came through or the edge of the island. If you do, you will be killed one way or another." He turned around without saying another word and started walking towards a street. Before being even 5 paces ahead, he turned around and said, "Thank you for being such good company. Good luck with your travels." |
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Post by Twilight Prince on Jun 23, 2008 17:07:16 GMT -5
The paper soon seemed to have been melting into the ground and through the floorboards that made up the floor of the small house. A hard locking sound could be heard through the first door while the second door seemed to have loosened up. Ooooooooooh....  This is interesting! And a little scary... Can't wait to hear more! |
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Post by Rafa on Jul 15, 2008 23:36:06 GMT -5
(I've actually been getting new story ideas. Not too much, but it's something. Anyway, I had this written down for a while but I never got to typing it. My writing's pretty hard to read, so the story might not make sense until I look over it when I get the chance.)
(This might be one of the less exciting pieces of the story.)
The group stood still, watching the man leave them. The rain was getting even harder, and they decided to start going into the forest, despite being unprepared for the journey, even after saying they were, they started to cross the forest path.
It seemed like a very fixed path. There were no side roads. Only a perfectly cleared trail amongst the trees. The only sounds that could be heard were raindrops falling, and their own footsteps, rushing water they came across every now and then, and the thunder.
It seemed as if the instant they stepped into the forest, everything in the world was forced to stop them from moving any further. The rain was slowing them down immensely. At some points, it was impossible to see beyond a few inches. Despite this intense rainfall, the ground never held on to the water. It just felt wet, but there were no puddles.
At other times, it seemed like some sort of animal was stopping them from going any further. It was impossible to see which, but the animal kept turning them around, stopping them, tricking them into seperating several times, and did anything else it could to seperate them and slow them down.
The rain eventually became the hardest it could be, as if standing right under a shower with extremely high pressure. At that point, it was starting to hurt them by just standing in it, so they started to run faster across the trail. At that point, Gloria tripped on a thorned vine. The thorns didn't seem to do any damage other than poking her leg, and with just the rain hitting them, she wouldn't even notice such a tiny distraction.
After some time, Gloria started feeling weaker. She had to eventually be carried by her sisters further on. It seemed as if the vine had some sort of poison. As soon as they were close to giving up, they saw something up ahead. It turned out to be a bridge, and beyond the bridge, was a tent.
The three rushed inside.
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Post by Twilight Prince on Jul 16, 2008 10:27:04 GMT -5
Another good chapter. What do you mean, "less exciting"? It's plenty exciting. |
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Post by Calanon on Jul 16, 2008 16:31:35 GMT -5
Yeah, TP's right. Things are getting good. ;D
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Post by Rafa on Dec 9, 2008 20:34:46 GMT -5
THIS HAS NO STORY!
I found some old notes for this game (remember, it was originally a game) and thought I'd share them.
I had planned that the party would be able to go into an abandoned school at some point and look at an entire page of a textbook. (That is, when they learn how to read and speak the new language.)
This probably has a spoiler or two, but I don't care.
This is supposed to be either a history or government study textbook and this page is supposed to be the first 10 amendments to the law of that world that the game takes place in. This would explain all the striked out parts, since things will always change in a government system.
Another thing I want to mention. The place mentioned on my first post introducing the story... I went there for Thanksgiving break and I had a good time. I also fixed some names, but I'll never be sure if I got the names right. (Maybe Cannery Row is something completely different?) The food was good, though.
Edit: I actually had it right the first time.
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